Bieber Buys NBC/Universal

**Tobias** · Today, 03:20 AM

Popstar Justin Bieber has just signed a deal to buy NBC/Universal and all of it's networks/affiliates. When asked why he made the purchase, Bieber simply replied "Cause I'm rich, &#(@(!"

Bieber plans on transforming NBC into 'Biebertown', a 24 hour channel that follows the star around 24/7; USA will 'Gomez Channel', which secretly records his girlfriend when she's not realizing it; and SyFy will become an all rap channel that will play mostly Eminem videos. The progamming change start immediately.

**DuckTwacy** · Today, 05:34 AM

This just in, "Biebertown" will also become, in a large cross promotion, a gigantic theme park, built on top of the Universal theme parks in both Florida, and California. Rides slated to be built include "The Bieber Adventure", "Revenge of the Bieber: The Ride", "Bieber to the Future: The Ride", "Bieber 2 3-D: Battle Across Time", and "The Amazing Adventures of Bieber-Man". Some sources say, however, that these are just regular Universal Studios rides (some of which have been closed) with no changes added to them, other than the word "Bieber". When asked about this, Bieber avoided the question by replying with his standard "Cause I'm rich, &#(@(!". More news as it happens.

**Spideyzilla** · Today, 08:52 AM

Bbbbbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeebeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr......

**bigddan11** · Today, 10:01 AM

I realize it's April Fools Day, but you need to change the title. It is no longer NBC Universal. It has been NBC Comcast for nearly a year, and yes, Universal is part of NBC Comcast.

**DuckTwacy** · Today, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by bigddan11

I realize it's April Fools Day, but you need to change the title. It is no longer NBC Universal. It has been NBC Comcast for nearly a year, and yes, Universal is part of NBC Comcast.

Honestly, NBC Comcast sounds nowhere near as cool as NBC Universal.

**Gene Shalit** · Today, 10:15 AM

There's nothing Universal about Bieber's appeal. Now The Mummy, that's a different story. This movie is filled with wonders for every family; for kiddies, and for daddies, and of course for mummies!

**Dr. Insano** · Today, 10:36 AM

WHAT!? I'm trying to build death rays over here and that little brat took over an entire station!? I must kidnap Justin Bieber and figure out what makes him so popular, so endearing to the public! Then I shall use it for world domination! Time to grab my tools; painful experiments AHOY!

**Hero Ponchin** · Today, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Dr. Insano

[ I must kidnap Justin Bieber and figure out what makes him so popular, so endearing to the public! Then I shall use it for world domination! Time to grab my tools; painful experiments AHOY!

Wouldn't you rather kidnap me? I'm a cute, witty lagamorph who's both your official President and a just Freelance Policeman!! Sam wouldn't approve of it because he believes that I am "frightening" and "a perversion of God's great love" but I think otherwise!!

**Kiddington** · Today, 10:46 AM

don't worry guys i'll just pay bieber off in sun drop

trust me bros this is enough. he won't buy it now.

**bigddan11** · Today, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by Dr. Insano

WHAT!? I'm trying to build death rays over here and that little brat took over an entire station!? I must kidnap Justin Bieber and figure out what makes him so popular, so endearing to the public! Then I shall use it for world domination! Time to grab my tools; painful experiments AHOY!

You're slightly off. Keep in mind NBC Comcast is the company that owns many TV stations. He's talking of changing NBC into Biebertown (USA and Syfy are also mentioned), but you seem to be forgetting other stations owned by NBC like NBC Sports Network, Universal Sports, Telemundo, A&E, Bravo, Chiller, CLOO, CNBC, CNBC World, E!, G4, Golf Channel, MSNBC, mun2, Oxygen, Sprout, Style Network, The Weather Channel, and all the Comcast Sports Networks. It also doesn't include all the Comcast Cable Companies that he now owns.

Now where is the picture of Beiber being shot down on CSI when you need it?

**Dr. Insano** · Today, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Hero Ponchin

Wouldn't you rather kidnap me? I'm a cute, witty lagamorph who's both your official President and a just Freelance Policeman!! Sam wouldn't approve of it because he believes that I am "frightening" and "a perversion of God's great love" but I think otherwise!!

A bunny!? What would I want with a bunny?! Since when are YOU president!? I'm president! ME! Dr. Insano! ...Unless I bet my presidency during a drunk poker game Ohsonofa- NOT AGAIN! ...Oh, I suppose I should kidnap you regardless. My son barely makes any friends as it is. All the other kids don't want to play with him. What is wrong with you little ragamuffins!? Sure he's smaller than you, rounder than you, and pinker than you, but he needs love! So go, bunny! Go and befriend my son and you shall be spared when I rule this planet! Nehehehehehe!

**PC!** · Today, 11:15 AM

Found the first stink bomb! Someone disarm it! HURRY!

**Dr. Insano** · Today, 11:17 AM

Alright, alright! Don't rush me! Even it took a miracle to fix that abomination they call a Jaguar game system! In exchange for this, I want your full loyalty! When the day comes, I shall summon you and you will all me my Insano Army of Triple D! That's DEATH, DOOM, AND DOUBLE-AWESOME! Nehehehehehe!

**Kiddington** · Today, 11:20 AM

i have disarmed it with the power of sun drop

you're all safe now

**Hero Ponchin** · Today, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by Dr. Insano

My son barely makes any friends as it is. All the other kids don't want to play with him. What is wrong with you little ragamuffins!? Sure he's smaller than you, rounder than you, and pinker than you, but he needs love! So go, bunny! Go and befriend my son and you shall be spared when I rule this planet! Nehehehehehe!

In exchange for befriending your son, I'll give you the presidency! Be warned that I tend to bite and fire rapidly with my gun.

**Dr. Insano** · Today, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Hero Ponchin

In exchange for befriending your son, I'll give you the presidency! Be warned that I tend to bite and fire rapidly with my gun.

DEAL!

What you call "biting and firing rapidly with your gun", I call it building character for my little Insano. Now go and play with my lonely, sad, pathetic son!