Bobby: "I oughta find a new family. A family a lot better than this one. But where am I gonna get 'em?"
Loudspeaker: "WELCOME TO THE FAMILY VALUES PAVILION! Where we celebrate the virtues of the American family...as seen on TELEVISION!"
Bobby: "Maybe I should get a TV family! Yeah....that's the ticket."
Ward: "BEAVER! Want to come down here, son?"
Bobby: "Uh, sure dad!" *laugh track*
Ward: "Care to explain this?" Ward points to a misshapen mess on the table.
Bobby: "Okay, yeah, sure! I bought candy with the money I was going to use for a Mother's day present, so I made an ashtray with some junk I melted from around the house!"
June: "Several of this 'junk' is priceless! There's my grandmother's earrings!"
Ward: "Is there something you'd like to say to your mother?"
Bobby: "Yeah, uh, sure! ....What does Dad do for a living? He's always hanging around the house!"
Bobby: "Boy, I wouldn't want to live with THEM. I'd hate being called Beaver!"
Ted, as the car approaches a Murphy Brown exhibit: "Ah, look what's coming up! I love these single-parent shows!"
It's worth pointing out that Murphy Brown giving birth, though heavily publicized, turned out to have no effect on that show as a whole. Things just continued like the baby had never happened, up until the end of the series. Maybe they just made this segment of the Bobby's World episode to annoy Dan Quayle.
Bobby: "Ya know, Mommy Brown, I don't care what anybody else says. You have GREAT family values!"
Reporters: "HEY, THERE SHE IS! IT'S MOMMY BROWN!"
"Is it true you're doing an expose on the Girl Scouts?"
"Well sure! Why CAN'T boys join the Girl Scouts? It's discrimination, doncha know! I plan ta have my Bobby join the Girl Scouts just to show 'em all!"
Bobby: "NOW WAIT A MINUTE!"
Mommy Brown yanks a Girl Scout outfit over Bobby, and the reporters clamor for pictures of it.
Bobby: "NO NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE THE SON OF A FAMOUS REPORTER!! I'd rather be a, um, a...."
"I'd rather be a CONEHEAD!"
"I changed my mind. I don't wanna be with somebody else's family. I'm a Generic! And I'm a PROUD Generic! Ted?...."
|"Mom?? KELLY? DEREK??"
"Oh no! I take my wish back! I don't want another family! I want my OWN family!"
"What seems to be the problem, son?"
|Bobby: "I think I wished my family away."
Guard: "Ha ha, not likely. I'm Security Guard Meeker, and this is Security Guard Snurd."
Snurd: "That's with one 'S'....son, we've determined by your wet eyes, naked gaze and general disoriented demeanor that you fall under L-12 of the Park Security Guard Manual--Lost Child."
Meeker hauling Bobby away: "You have the right to cry, you have the right to snivel, you have the right to wet your pants...."
Meeker: "For your own safety and the safety of those around you, you can wait here in the Lost Kids Pen."
Snurd: "Hee hee! You're goin' up the river, Angel!"
AD BREAK #2! It's Norm, the Fox 49 Kids Club Guy!