Today I got home, opened the full mailbox and pulled out both gaming mags I get(Electronic Gaming Monthly and Nintendo Power). I also pulled out some catalog we hadn't gotten before, as well as some envelopes of no importance to me but presumably some importance to Mom. I flipped through both magazines and....wow, what an experience. I think this is a new record...I have never seen so many frightening people, faces, situations and whatnot in such a short time. Keep in mind I was in no mood to see more freakiness...I had just come off the bus. Coming home from college I have to pass through a transit center and stay there for more than 15 minutes. Yes, normally you see a lot of weirdos on the bus but this transit center is special because it's right next to a mental help center. Today(and nothing on this page is a lie)I heard this maniacal laughter and it woudn't stop. I turned around to see this bald guy walking out of the clinic and toward his bus. He walked in a straight line, with his head up and laughing loudly for no reason, all the way to the bus, and I don't think he stopped once he was inside. After that was over, I looked the other way and saw a girl chewing on a large maple leaf, starting with the stem. I think she was about 30.
Anyway, some experiences are just so interesting, you have to share them with everyone. You see a lot of weirdos in the magazines too, especially game magazines. Here are the 5 scariest things I've seen today.

#5: UNCLE SAMANTHA

I looked through the catalog first. The best thing about catalogs is that they are full of items you either have no desire to have, or can get at the 99-cent store if you do. I don't know who pays for the stuff in here. But they were pushing the Fourth of July this time(come on, it's almost June). My word, this is totally incredible fashion. Couldja die??
I was disappointed there were no Christmas items in the catalog(catalogs ALWAYS have Christmas items). After all, it's almost June...they gotta get cracking here.

#4: MR. WHITE

Mr. White is the latest NBA Draft pick for the Portland Trail Blazers. Well, not really, though I wouldn't rule the possiblity out. He's apparently the mad scientist from "Ape Escape 2."

#3: MR. GET SICK ALL OVER

This reminds me...I remember when Gabriel, the artist for Penny Arcade, ranted against an idiotic print ad he saw where some "rebellious" teenager was holding a controller and doing some outrageous dance. It looked worse than what I'm describing. He was supposed to be a "gamer." Gabe's rant caught fire and within a few hours fans of the Penny Arcade strip had tracked down the man who produced the ad and sent him so many angry Emails he had to change his address. Ha ha...good times. That doesn't mean these things will stop though.

#2: THE WONKA WAVE KID

"YOU COULD WIN A WONKA WAVE OF PRIZES!!" said the ad on the back of Nintendo Power this month. The Willy Wonka candy co. is giving away a full-size pool, a wave of water gear, OR a water-resistant boom box. Either one. This kid should quit eating so many Nerds. You are what you eat, after all.