He will repeatedly post his grandiose plans to get his favorite obscure TV series onto Blu-Ray. His signature will link to his typo-filled script for a major motion picture based on the 1980's comic book Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld. He will always be talking about the people he knows--Peter Jackson, Joss Whedon, the chick from Stargate: Atlantis--which he may or may not have bumped into once or twice. Or at least stalked for a period of time. Every online community has one: the overambitious superfanboy.

There was the case of David Gonterman, who drew bad cartoons of Sailor Moon falling for him and taking him on adventures (no, really, see here). There was Toon Zone's own Timbox129, who kept posting announcements for expensive DVD sets---sets that didn't exist yet, but that he planned to make himself once the home video companies started bowing to him.
But only the most legendary examples qualify as Superfanboys, and our first honorary member is enough to write an entire article about. It was August of 2003 when Joe Cracker strolled into the IGN.com message boards and announced his plans to make a major-studio-funded, fully-animated Zelda movie.

Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/5/03 6:36pm Subject: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 2/2/05 1:17pm (2 edits total) Edited By: the_raven24
This is it, this is what you guys wanted.

All you guys who want to talk about the Zelda movie, this is the topic for you.

As you may all know, the movie is based on the 80's t.v. show, and the simplist things about this movie is.

1. It will use the same animation from the T.V. show but with an up to date look, such as shadow effects, motion effects, and more

2. The same sound effects, that originated from the first Zelda game will be used as well as many others, old and new.

3. It will also feature most of the same voice cast, but for my ideas for new cariters and other Zelda cariters, never seen in the T.V. show and who should do their voices, I will post them in other topics everytime 10 people sign my petition.

4. A few free give aways, I want to cast myself to be the voices of "The Triforce of Courage" and "Majora's Mask". I want to bring in Captain Lou Albano and Danny Wells to do a "Super Mario Bros. Super Mini Movie" that will play in front of the main feature.

5. All petition updates and sneak peaks will be posted as seprate topics

That is all.

Not only did Cracker have ambition, he had a swelled head the size of one of those malnourished skeleton boys from the charity commercials on daytime TV.

blink182ska  28657 posts
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25053_Beer Bag
Date Posted: 9/5/03 7:06pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress - Date Edited: 9/5/03 7:07pm (1 edits total) Edited By: blink182ska

I'd go and see this movie, it's not every day you get to see a fan's devotion to a game. I can say that your attempt at a Zelda movie can't be as bad as the movie Super Mario Bros. was. O_o
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/5/03 7:21pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
I know blink, you would be amazed to find out how creative I really am.

-----signature-----

Joe's incredible script was irretrievable at the time of this writing, but it involved Ganon teaming up with Majora's Mask, talking Triforces, and of course the 80's version of Link and Zelda. There were those who told Cracker it could never be done, but he put them in their place with his flawless logic.

THESPOTLIGHT  347 posts
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Date Posted: 9/9/03 2:46pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
Joe Cracker Said:

"Once I am done with the screenplay, I want to submit to the right people that will help me get the Legal rights to do whatever I want with it and re-asemble the original voice cast."

---------------------------------------------

I say:

I bet you don't evem know WHO the RIGHT people are! There isn't a team of people looking for amature screenplays to turn into low-budgeted movies. The rights to do a Zelda movie alone costs OVER A MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO PRODUCER IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER LISTEN TO YOU OR YOUR PETITION.

I just being honest with you. I know what it takes and you don't have it. You may be creative but it takes EXPERIENCE to make a good 90 min movie.

The Cracker will crumble under the pressure.

WILL YOU EVER SAY HOW OLD YOU ARE???

From what I can tell you must be 10 years old.
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/9/03 3:59pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
I am 19 years old, about to graduate from high school. I know what I'm doing and the cracker will not buckle under the pressure, writing is no presure at all, it's going up to dic entertainment, and Nintendo of Japan and Shigeru Miyamoto himself to get the rights to make a movie, that is the real presure.

Nobody believed that Peter Jackson, could ever make "The Lord of the Rings" into a movie, but he did and did it all right.

How did Cracker plan to grab the attention of everybody that holds the Zelda rights? Via the fearsome power of Petition Online!

Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/10/03 6:20pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
After a few more weeks, once 15 signitures now 16, sweet 16, that is still not enough.

I now know for a fact that petitiononline.com does not play around, they are serious about helping people getting a message across.
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/15/03 5:24pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
Today was somewhat fair for me, petition is now up to 17 signiturs but thousands more to go.

In my hometown of York S.C., I was handing out flyers for the TLOC petition, the flyers also had links to my website and the offical tread for TLOC, as it stands now, this topic no longer has to be at the top of the line in order for people to know it's here.

The writing process went an amazing turn when I wrote a scene where Link and Zelda had completed the Level 2 Dungoun "Nayru's Temple" then they where attacks by atleast 1/8th of Ganon's army, then I had Prince Phasod ride into the battle and the story goes "As Prince Phasod like a man posested, Link and Zelda rode as fast as they could to the Land of Dochoch" their is also another line in the story where Ewan the stage couch driver saw Phasod fighting and he says "I got two words for that guy, De-Caff" funny ain't it.

The Dungoun line-up in TLOC is like this

Level 1 "Farore's Temple" treasure "The Triforce of Courage" Boss "Dark Link" Quest Idem "Farore's Potion"
Level 2 "Nayru's Temple" treasure "Bomb Bag" Boss "Lilly the frog" Quest Idem "Nayru's Potion"
Level 3 "Din's Temple" treasure "Mirror Sheild" Boss "Volvagia" Quest Idem "Din's Potion
Level 4 "The Underworld" treasure "The Master Sword" Sub-Boss "Ganon" Boss "Majora's Mask" Final Boss "Majora's Wrath"

Also TLOC will answer the biggest question for all the fans the T.V. show
"Will Link finnally score with Zelda?"
THESPOTLIGHT  347 posts
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13234_Eye of Sauron
Date Posted: 9/16/03 12:08pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
Do you understand that by discussing the plot and everything else with people who aren't under contract you are THROWING AWAY your chance to make a Zelda movie?

The only people who you can discus these things with are the people who are involved in actually making the movie.
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 9/18/03 7:29am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - A working progress
No movie studio is writing this script, I am.

Petition Update signitures 10-20
now up to 22 signitures, more Ideas on who should be the voice of who

Impa > Whoopi Goldberg

Link's Father: Luke > Bruce Willis
Link's Mother: Margrett > (Since she's a fan)Sally Field

This is how you make a Zelda movie based on the t.v. show, re-acemble the original voice cast, then back it up with the voices of big name stars. It's like money in the bank.

At this point, people started accusing Joe Cracker of being a joke account, but he assured everyone that he was 100% real, that his script was 100% real, and that Britney Spears would be playing Goddess Nayru.

TheSpotlight was a film school graduate, and promised to help Joe iron out his script after a long argument and feelings of pity.

Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 10/27/03 6:26pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
Yo spotlight.

I'm willing to take a test of power, wisdom and courage myself.

Right now as I write the screenplay, I begin to find out that I am just too busy to get it all done in the time I need it to be done.

If you have anyway of getting to my house, I'll send you my home address via e-mail. I don't want to post it here.

I'll tell you this right now, I live in South Carolina.
THESPOTLIGHT  347 posts
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13234_Eye of Sauron
Date Posted: 10/27/03 7:17pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
I live in the Texas panhandle but I don't see why I would have to go to your house?
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 10/28/03 7:11am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
So I can let you read the story, and so you can help me finish the screenplay on time.
THESPOTLIGHT  347 posts
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13234_Eye of Sauron
Date Posted: 10/28/03 7:48pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 10/28/03 7:53pm (1 edits total) Edited By: THESPOTLIGHT
What, I can't read it from the safety of my computer? How do I know you won't slip a roofie into my soda?

Most superfanboys, no matter how super they are, eventually drift away after a while. (Either that or get banned; the latter is more likely.) But not Joe Cracker. Joe's saga went on for years, resulting in one of the funniest (and longest) board threads I've ever read. Here's a condensed timeline for those in a rush:

May 2004: Joe finishes his script, and makes an announcement that is SO BIG, there has to be an announcement leading up to the announcement. Cracker states that his big secret will be revealed in a live chat on June 11th, starring HIM.

June 2004: Nobody comes to the chat. Joe Cracker blames the absence of people on the grief surrounding the recent death of Ronald Reagan, and makes his announcement on the boards: his official Geocities site promoting his movie now HAS A FORUM!
Nobody comes to the forum either.

July 2004: TheSpotlight quits out of utter frustration with some of Cracker's demands. Cracker panics and after renegotiation, they reach an uneasy truce and Spotlight is back on, so to speak.

August 2004: In an attempt to raise money, Joe starts his own eBay auctions. "I must warn you that you are in for a shock when you hit this link so make sure you take your pills if you have some," says Joe. The auction is for a theater film reel containing the trailer for Shrek 2. Joe sets the opening bid price at $200.
Someone else immediately points out that trailer reels are worthless and frequently thrown out by theater owners, and that employees can have whatever trailer they want for free. Cracker had apparently been digging in the dumpster and thought he'd found something valuable.
"I trailer is not beeing sold for just a big night on the town. I had been allready been looking for rare items to sell on ebay like things you might find in your grandma's house all the way to old NES games that had never been played and still raped in the plastic." --Joe Cracker, who meant "wrapped."

September 2004: Cracker's trailer auctions are removed by eBay and he comes up with the second scheme of making his own music albums. Yes, of Cracker singing. Not only that, but he offers them autographed!

October 2004: TheSpotlight disappears into the cyber-ether, and Cracker's Zelda movie is put on the shelf until he returns. Instead, Cracker works on a side project he calls "Homeless Man Movie" that is shot by a cheap digital camera. In the meantime, people who have become fans of the board thread start pitching in ideas and concepts.

sexualburgerking  2601 posts
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14739_Ronald McJackson
Date Posted: 10/16/04 11:03pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
Check it out players.... My friend really loves Zelda too, so I introduced him to this thread. He wants to see a Zelda movie more than anything, so he made this awesome TLOC poster. Joe, please feel free to use it on your site or wherever.

Here's how he describes the image: "In this scene, Link is asking for advice from his Goron friend. But the Goron thinks he is a traitor and is sending him away from the Goron village."
houston3000  1805 posts
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14356_Link Drink
Date Posted: 10/17/04 7:34pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
Burgerking... courage is spelled wrong in that poster. Speaking of such, do you guys really expect people to have any faith in your project with such amateur art work? Even the official posters and stuff look, frankly... horrible. It is sweet that kids made them in Paint or whatever but seriously... it looks like kids made them in paint.
sexualburgerking  2601 posts
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14739_Ronald McJackson
Date Posted: 10/17/04 8:00pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 10/17/04 8:11pm (1 edits total) Edited By: sexualburgerking
Houston, thanks for the heads up on my spelling... I fixed my friend's poster, and cut-and-pasted your spelling of the word "courage" to make sure it was correct.



Now let me clear up some things that should be more obvious to you: Joe_Cracker is an inspirational craftsman whose talent is only overshadowed by his creative energy. As you can see, he is such an inspiration that at least four talented individuals have offered their creativity and effort to Joe's project, while asking for nothing from him in return.

Perhaps you need to read more of this thread and it will begin to make sense to you.
houston3000  1805 posts
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14356_Link Drink
Date Posted: 10/17/04 8:34pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
I know this sounds like I am the bad guy who is trying to discourage and supress all of your dreams; in the movies I am always the guy that gets proven wrong when the underdog succeeds... but this is reality not the movies. You may feel that I am only reading the "surface" and you are correct because this whole project's concept is paper thin, there is no depth.
sexualburgerking  2601 posts
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14739_Ronald McJackson
Date Posted: 10/18/04 1:23am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 10/18/04 1:26am (1 edits total) Edited By: sexualburgerking
Houston, thanks a lot, man. You definitely did not have to go to all that trouble! Now that I see the way you fixed the poster, I wish I had thought of that. Thanks for using some of your photobucket account space to post the pic too.

I went ahead and posted your fixed version of the poster in my own account, so I hope you don't mind. What you said about "wasting space" had me a bit concerned, so I reduced the image to a very small file size. Luckily it took only a slight hit in quality in the process. The best thing is, now the poster is very 56k friendly at a miniscule 4kb.

November 2004: TheSpotlight still hasn't returned, and Joe really starts to slack off on the Zelda project. The thread's followers have to come up with some kind of plan, and fast, or it will be all over....

Cellius_18  1899 posts
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Date Posted: 11/6/04 3:43pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
HOLY CRAP.

EVERYONE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. THIS MEANS YOU, JOE CRACKER.

I was browsing the internet, and BY SHEER HAPPENSTANCE I found another Zelda movie site! Guys, I don't know about you, but this guy looks like he knows how to make a movie. He's even in contact with the original director for the cartoon, and DIC, I'm assuming. From the looks of it, he's about to get the rights and the funding!

AGAIN, I URGE EVERYONE TO FOLLOW THIS LINK TO THIS SITE. Burger, he said he needs a little assistance so maybe you can take care of visual promotions and I can create the music. Just a thought. I don't know, Cracker, this guy's showing some promise. He's gettin' stuff done. He knows the right people and he's not relying on phantom users like "Spotlight" to do his work for him.

Benson (Kure), burger, orquiox, Ralor, madskillz, everyone, anyone... take a look and see if THIS is the man you want making your Zelda movie. I know I'm considering abandoning Cracker for this new guy. Any takers?

http://www.geocities.com/beaconofcourage/

EDIT: He's even supplied an email address so any question he'll personally answer.
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 11/7/04 10:36am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 11/7/04 10:56am (1 edits total) Edited By: Joe_Cracker
I see it as a total rip-off. TBOC vs. TLOC? I will not stand for this. If you support me, you can't support him. I'm going to contact that guy and better tell me he ain't steeling my idea.

EDIT:
Mr. John Grusd. My name is Robert C. McGee, and I think you might have taken the idea of someone who is copying other people's ideas. It is imperitive that you refuse to this man's attention on The Beacon of Courage because is doing nothing but ripping me off.

Go to:
http://boards.ign.com/Legend_of_Zelda/b5188/44833398/p1
http://www.geocities.com/zelda_tloc963/index.html
http://www.geocities.com/productions963/index.html

Do not trust this man:
http://www.geocities.com/beaconofcourage/
orquiox  144 posts
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Date Posted: 11/7/04 4:49pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
WHOA JOE!

This guy seems to know what he is talking about. I noticed you guys had a remarkably similar script posted on your websites. Now, I took the liberty of e-mailing this insightful man and he told me he has had that up for awhile.

Is it possible during one of you 'writer's blocks' you just HAPPENED to stumble upon this genius?

Pretty big coincidence.............

Joe, if you come clean about this, us players won't think any lower of you than we already do.
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 11/8/04 1:31am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 11/8/04 2:09am (1 edits total) Edited By:Joe_Cracker
This is beginning to look like a bad remake of "Seceret Window" I first came up with this idea in late spring of 2003. I know for a fact that this guy stole my idea because he is using my poster, and I read those scenes, they can be found here and they have been up for a while.

Go to:
http://www.geocities.com/zelda_tloc963/peaks

And that is my poster, I'd know it anywhere:
http://www.geocities.com/zelda_tloc963/poster_tloc4.jpg

EDIT:
That guy sent me an email telling me that he is just going to continue with what he is doing. There is only one thing I can think of to stop this guy, I have just found my old petition, it has 350 Signatures. I say we start signing it but this time we tell Dic Entertainment not to trust him.

Go to:
http://www.petitiononline.com/dfgh0963/
orquiox  144 posts
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Date Posted: 11/8/04 3:10pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 11/8/04 3:16pm (2 edits total) Edited By: orquiox
I don't know what to believe Joe. I just cannot comprehend the similarities here. Who copied who?

I see where Cellius stands...but what about burger? Ralor? Benson/Kure? How do you guys feel? I've put so much faith into Joe, I hope it wasn't all for naught.

Joe_Cracker, be honest...did you copy this guy?

I want to believe you! I want to so badly! How could he have secured all the rights if he copied you? It doesn't seem possible! If you were the first to think of this, why didn't you contact John Grusd right off the bat?

My reality slowly crumbles...
Joe_Cracker  727 posts
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Date Posted: 11/8/04 7:38pm Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE - Date Edited: 11/8/04 7:44pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Joe_Cracker
I would have to read his entire script in order to make sure that he is not steeling my idea, I think the reason why spotlight has not shown himself around in a good while because he took my script to that Cheese nut. He copied my peaks off my website and posted it on that ****** website so could ****** say those ***** scenes are ****** his, and I don't ****** and he ****** took my poster and forged his title on it and air brushed my website off it. And I tried to copy that poster off his website so I could show it to someone but I can't. He's got it somehow to where I can't copy it, so that in one way proves that he is copying me. He downloaded my poster off my website and ****** it up. Just look at the facts, Spotlight has not posted on my thread in a long time and he and I have been out of contact for the longest time.

Spotlight is the one to blame for him steeling my idea, I say spotlight better show up here in three days and ubject or else he's fired.

EDIT:
This is what that Cheese head said, when he emailed me
"I can't believe what you're saying! I started writing
this two years ago! I don't know how you stole it from
me, but I'm not just gonna sit here and give it to
you. I'll do as I please with my work.
Good day."

I also started writing TLOC two years ago, almost all my friends know that I am writting this. You can ask almost any member of my graduating class and they will say that I wrote this.
Ralor_Haen  299 posts
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Date Posted: 11/9/04 9:34am Subject: RE: The Legend of Zelda: The Light of Courage - test your Power, Wisdom, and COURAGE
Now we all stand at a crossroads...

Do we support Joe Cracker, the creative manchild whose vision of a zelda movie has entertained us for over a year, but has shown little progress in recent months.

Or do we back "Cheese Head", who appears to be the real deal. He's in contact with the original director, his website is not an affront to the eyes, and his title is catchier...mmm...beacon...*drools*

The question remains: who copied who?

What we do know is that Joe lied about his name--he is not "Joe Cracker" but Robert McGee!

I am having a crisis of faith here, please Joe, give us some inspiration...

Cracker would have NONE of this. He not only started selling his script again, he accused TheSpotlight of being the man who sold "Cheese Head" the whole thing in the first place. Spot was publicly Crackerized and fired, but he may not have actually seen any of it, since he never did come back.

"John Grusd" agreed to make Joe's movie, and Joe handed over the script. For the devoted fans, there was only one way for this entire debacle to culminate: They HAD to make this movie.

For the next two years, a good deal of semi-expert CGI work went into creating three "leaked demos" straight from DiC. The fortunate thing is that work wrapped up around the same time as the rise of YouTube, so more than just IGN's small circle of board trollers got to see it. Now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for....behold the first glimpse of Joe "Robert McGee" Cracker's Zelda: The Light of Courage!

There were three CGI films in all, and you may have seen them before if you were fishing around for popular Zelda videos, but the only way to truly "get" just how funny they really are is to have read the whole Cracker story first. Which you just did, so dive in.

The third and final clip had the most effort put into it, running longer than six minutes and containing a Pixar-worthy rendering of Ganon.

This concludes the first entry into the Legion of Superfanboys, but it's not the end of Joe Cracker himself. Apparently, he's still out there and still hopeful his script will get made into a full movie. Despite his inspiring enthusiasm, which never seems to die, we all know deep down this is as far as he'll get. Unless we all SIGN THAT PETITION NOW. Come on, don't you want to know if Link finally scores with Zelda??

Return to the main page,
Nominate a fanboy you know of for the Legion of Superfanboys,
Or visit the Joe Cracker fansite