|Okay.....actually, Lynn Johnston's For Better or for Worse* used to be funny, if you can believe it. Before the years devolved it into a fogey-style telenovela, it contained some of the darn funniest moments 80's cartoondom had to offer(that is, if you don't count Bloom County, The Far Side, etc......)
Some of the greatest material came from the clashes between Mike and his younger sister Elizabeth(but back then she was just known as "Lizzie"). See for yourself....don't you wish you had pulled this one?....
*all strips property of Lynn Johnston Productions/Universal Press Syndicate; all rights reserved
|BWA-HA! Great. Unfortunately, the early strips can't be found because they don't print those books anymore. Instead bookstores only stock the later ones, which are pink and have titles like "Splendiforous Hearts of Love In the Twilight." So you're missing out, badly.
Of course, even here there were some problems, namely the biggest statement of total blasphemy to ever appear in a comic strip until "Non Sequitur" appeared in the late 90's.
|TONY RANDALL, THE BRAIN GREMLIN!!!!|
|How dare she blast the greatest film series of all time! And even further, to suggest all movies should be like....THAT??? What the heck is she on??? Yes, it's true, as funny as these early strips are, they still have these.....geek mom opinions reigning supreme. Even worse, Lynn has stated that the mom in the strip is largely based on herself. Hey, Elly, I'll have you know Gremlins 2 featured a darn good musical number.
I have other complaints about this strip, but I won't waste my breath. Lynn deserves a better punishment for having such opinions. So, I will not review For Better or For Worse....instead, since she asked for it, I shall now turn the mike over TO:
|Ahem. Thank you for inviting me, and kudos to Southwest Airlines for the transportation. Quite adequate jello, I might add. I'd just like to talk about what I'm seeing here, in these strips, because the way I see it, while you seem to be repulsed by US, your comic strip equally poses a problem for our, um, ethnic group.|
|Now here we see Elly Patterson, the host character, as a woman of dim intelligence. Now, I ask you, why would a woman expect her offspring to come to her with their worries and problems IF said person is their parent?? That would be just plain wrong, and I'll explain why in full.
Besides the wimpy implications of crying to Mommy, which was stylish in the preschool years but kind of dated by modern standards; there is also the fact that a parent will listen, and then criticise every move the child makes. Naturally they're not going to come to her for help if all they're going to get is her guano.
I liken the situation to my cousin Mohawk, who bit a wealthy investor in the derrierre back in the Clamp Center, and now is in love with her, and expects the woman to return his phone calls. Well, you say, that is definately odd. Well, so likewise would be Lizzie asking Elly for help after Elly had been nothing but a hindrance to her freedom for the last few years. These things only stand to logic, a logic Mrs. Johnston seems to have difficulty grasping.
And this is only proven further by the things Elly does. Would you trust a woman that tried to destroy a relationship between you and a close mate? Ha ha, of course not. But in 1992 that's exactly what she tried to do...when her son Mike and his girlfriend Martha started hanging out every day, Elly said, "They're getting too friendly" and sent Mike off to his granddad's farm for the entire summer. Such a lovehating witch, infused with such, oh I hate to use the word, ativism, is clearly an enemy of civilization. Whereas I am not, and she hates me.
|Martha was not the prettiest girl in the world either. It takes a lot to make a rollerblade outfit with the belly showing look UNattractive, but Martha sure did it. But while this female homosapien did not have looks, she had an honest personality. She also looked just plain fun to draw. I wish I could say the same for Mike's later girlfriends, including his wife now. He ultimately chose "Deanna," and if wearing your hair that short when you're that young isn't a crime, then it should be.|
|On a related note, I believe Michael's time would be better spent with this woman. I personally know her to be a terriffic conversationalist and a great cook.|
|Now was that civilized? Certainly not. Fun, perhaps, but by no means civilized! Yes, this occurence happened on the farm Mike would up at. Now, exactly WHAT lessons is the boy learning here? Unlike Lynn, I am HIGHLY distinguished. I believe in all forms of civilization--the metric system, chamber music, Susan Sontag! Outfitting a pig in this manner is an activity better suited for a lesser class.|
|AAAAAAAAHH, WHAT IS THAT?????? This....thing showed up in Lynn's strip no less than two weeks from the penning of this commentary. Deanna is preggers(so there's no going back now, Mike....shame on you.) For some reason, she seeks the advice of this freaky woman who comes into her apartment for some reason. She's never been seen before in the strip, but somehow Deanna knows her. Her name is Mrs. Saltzman, but she keeps insisting that Deanna call her "Lovey." "LOVEY"?? SHE IS SUPPOSED TO CALL THAT THING "LOVEY"??? A warped woman like this could only come from an equally warped mind, and I refer to Lynn's.
Speaking of unreal people, it's time to bring up April. April was born into the strip in 1990. Unlike Mike and Lizzie, April grew up to have no distinguishing personality whatsoever. We still have no clue what April's interests are, what she's like as a person, what her life is like, etc. That's because April is nothing but a robot. Lynn has no children now to base April on, so April is a soulless "thing," much like several of my colleagues, who are controlled by human hands inside of them.
Now, it stands to reason when you create a cartoon character, you want to make that character as human as possible. April remains flat to this day. As she's grown older, she's moved from yelling stereotypical kiddie talk like "IT'S MINE, ALL AYPO'S!!" to just saying "TOTALLY COOL!" to everything. We never see things from April's perspective either. Even when Lizzie was in first grade, some stories occured from her point of view. One error I must point out: as April grows older, it will eventually be time to show what she is really like once she sets out on her own. Lynn, do you have any idea what she's like yet?
It seems to me that I'm not the problem, Mrs. Johnston, YOU are the problem. Your storytelling has been blah ever since you killed off the family dog(and I understand people were surprised by that...why? The Spring before, the dog had a litter. Wasn't it obvious what you were planning to do?)
Well, I've had my fill of addressing your problems. I'm moving off to X-Entertainment.com, where they understand me. It's time for my number...so I bid you farewell!
|COME ON COME THROUGH, NEW YORK, NEEEEEEW YOOOOOOOOORK!!!!|