Awhile ago, I wrote about a Scooby Doo episode where they team up with Batman, and mentioned there existed another Scooby Doo where they teamed up with the Harlem Globetrotters. I then said I'd never review the Globetrotter one, mainly because it was just too much weirdness for me. Now I've changed my mind.
I changed my mind because, as it turns out, that's not the only appearance of the Globetrotters in cartoon form. I figured they never showed up again until the Futurama episode which revealed them to be aliens. But no...they appeared...a LOT, more than I ever realized. But before we get to that, here's what the Scooby Doo one was like, or rather, what I can remember of it. The gang goes somewhere, the Harlem Globetrotters show up, they do fancy tricks, they help unmask the ghost, but mostly they crack jokes like this:
"All right, the first person to clean up
say 'me.' Meadowlark, how'd you like to clean up?"
"ME??"
"Congratulations, Meadowlark, you just volunteered to clean
up."
No, really. It's supposed to be a joke. It's...kinda funny, if I stand on my head.
It turns out that the animated antics of the Harlem Globetrotters go all the way back to 1970(the Doo cartoon came from 1972). Before Jordan and Shaq, before Bird and Chamberlain, the NBA had no good players except for ones that weren't technically in the league and spent their time driving around performing wacky tricks. At this point, the Harlem Globetrotters were the most famous basketball "players" in the country. So, they immediately got their own cartoon, where none of the cast supplied their own voices. Toonarific.com says, "The Globies would travel the world in their cool Stars and Stripes bus, accompanied by their dog/mascot Dribbles. Driving the bus was Granny, an aging matron with a lot of pep left. The team took on all comers on the basketball court, and never lost."
That show lasted three seasons, and on its last it crossed over with Scooby Doo. Some network executive must have liked what he saw, and demanded even stranger things for the Globetrotters to do. They were mutated and reborn as....
And I remember someone saying to me, "One of 'em had a fro so big he could pull ladders and elephants from it!" That would be Sweet Lou Dunbar. Curly became "Sphere Man," meaning he would have a basketball for a head for the entire series. One of them was perpetually stuck in scuba gear, and another was now made of rope ("Spaghetti Man.") No matter what they ran into, no matter how bad things looked, it could always be solved with a good round of B-Ball in the last two minutes.
NBC didn't get very good ratings on this one(how unexpected), but rather than replace it with something less stupid, they decided to pump up the volume even louder.
Yes....you guessed right, they added Godzilla.
The show was renamed "The Godzilla/Globetrotters Adventure Hour" and spliced with a Godzilla cartoon series that also wasn't doing very well, in hopes that running them both at once would work better. How did the show explain Godzilla showing up? I say, that's easy....he was just pulled out of that guy's afro.
The more I found out about this,
the more interesting it got. Then I found out about
another cartoon titled "Snow White and the Harlem
Globetrotters." NOW they were teaming up with Snow
White?? Could she dunk? This was unbelievable! One guy had
seen the entire thing with his own two eyes, so I asked him about
it.
Unfortunately, he revealed that it was a 4-part movie shown as a
miniseries, not a show, and that it sticks to the traditional
storyline(well, not entirely). I asked him if they padded the 100
minutes out by having Meadowlark sing. He said he didn't think
so. Then he described the entire thing with many Capitalized
Words.
Part 1: Typical Storybook opening (Once upon a
time..) Then they go through the standard Snow White scenes
leading up to the famed Snow White escapes the Huntsman scene and
finds a Cottage..)
that was basically it for the first part, then suddenly a gear
shift and the Harlem Globetrotters (Minus Granny and that insipid
Canine Mascot) are driving through the forest enroute to another
basketball contest against someone. The Van breaks down and
luckily for them they stumble onto a Cottage, so they decided to
kick back and hope someone will realize they won't be making
their Next Basketball gig..
Part 2 opens with Snow White Finding the Cottage, and in fact
when she opens the door, here's the Globetrotters inside (looking
a bit like RATHER oversized Dwarves wearing Dwarf Clothing
complete with Hats! (The Roaming Gnomes of Basketball!) (and yes
as I recall the Original Globetrotters had 7 members!) Anyway
things go fine (Maybe Meadowlark does sing.. (Things are a bit
hazy here) but if he did, Like I said, Not Too Memorable song)..
Queen finds out that Snow White is still alive, tries to send
Evil doers to do Miss White in.. Globetrotters using their
basketball skills fend off the attack.. So Evil queen goes with
the Traditional poison attack..(Apple Poisoning..) sure enough it
doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where this is going.. at
that point Part 2 ends..
So what happens next? While Out foraging for food or Looking for
the phone, the Globetrotters still dressed as Dwarves, return to
the cottage to find Snow out cold from the apple. Queen is
gloating and says that Snow White Can't be awakened without the
Traditional kiss by a handsome prince (why didn't someone like
Curly just kiss her? (He's no prince!) But Queen also has an
anti-dote to the poison.. Meadowlark makes the usual Globetrotter
wager that if they can win a Basketball game against a team of
the Queen's Choosing, the Queen must hand over the potion.. Evil
Quenn Conjures up Huge Gargoyle basketball team, and we start
having your typical Basketball game.. Globetrotters try to use
standard basketball tactics.. Gargoyles of course Like any
typical Globe Trotter gamefest pull ahead.. half time..(End of
Part 3)
Part 4.. The Globetrotters are stumped.. how to win? I Know! Go
Globetrotter! (yep here comes the razzledazzle of the
globetrotters and sure enough it comes down to the typical final
basket at the buzzer. Which they get and win.. Just then Queen
tries to go back on the deal, when a REAL prince (Charming I
believe his name was.. Shows up..Queen tries to escape but in the
haste breaks vial..)
(I just hope I'm Not boring anyone!) but to continue Prince
Kisses Snow White.. and well you know the rest.. (oh yeah and the
Globetrotters do get out of the forest!)
I asked him eagerly, "Is there anything the Globetrotters CAN'T do? Could they make a rock so big that even they couldn't lift it?" I didn't walk away with any answers, but I now get the intended joke on Futurama a lot better. The Globetrotters ARE aliens, man....