Sources: eBay, Gamesniped.com, Craigslist, Nintendo Age forums

The following video-game-related items are so rare, you probably haven't heard of any of them. They are all real, there is only a handful in the world of each, and you can NEVER HAVE THEM, because of the wallet-stopping combination of being both expensive AND totally useless. You can look, though. But you can't ever touch. Or microwave.

NINTENDO 64 HOSPITAL KIOSK

Formerly belonged to the wing housing terminal children

Don't feel guilty about taking it. Just be sure to....y'know....clean it VERY thoroughly

Craigslist Price: $75

FLUFFY MARIO AND YOSHI SIGN

Look at that sign! It's so poofy!
Poof!

eBay Price: $70.00

LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW STANDEE

As with all things Lollipop Chainsaw, you can't really have one and a happy girlfriend at the same time

eBay Price: $84.99

"NINTENDO ULTRA 64" HAT

We saw last time how video game companies have a tendency to jump the gun, hatly speaking

Here's another example

eBay Price: $500

GAMECUBE "NR DISC"

Special recordable versions of the Gamecube minidiscs for development purposes

eBay Price: $26.09

"RADICAL REX" PROTOTYPE

To refresh your memory, Radical Rex is a dinosaur on a skateboard who can "shred prehistoric pavement."

He was created in 1993 by a team of overpaid marketing executives who drew him in ten seconds and then ran off to get more drugs

eBay Price: $71.00

THE MISADVENTURES OF TRON BONNE

"Tron Bonne" is the most expensive PS1 game you can attempt to buy. It's a spinoff of the Mega Man Legends games, which are pricey themselves

eBay Price: $399.95

FINAL FANTASY II PROTOTYPE

Square briefly entertained the possibility of translating the actual Final Fantasy II, instead of bringing over Final Fantasy IV and retitling that "II"

A prototype with a rough translation was completed for CES. This flyer depicts the possible mutant logo they would have created

eBay Price: $50,000,00

GAME GEAR: COKE EDITION

There was an advertisement game sold only in Japan called "Coca-Cola Kid." Enough bribe money exchanged hands for the game to get packed in with a specially-branded Game Gear. We aren't any better; we've had 7-Up, McDonalds and Cheetos-themed games that cost $50 at least

See the Coca-Cola Kid

eBay Price: $100

POWER GLOVE CONTAINMENT SUITCASE

Now you too can pretend you're as cool as Lucas

eBay Price: $70.99

AUTOGRAPHED PORTAL 2 GAME SLEEVE

Signed by every member of the Valve development team....but no Jane Lynch

Actually, she's in the right corner j/k

eBay Price: $108.02

POKEMON DIAMOND/PEARL GAME CARD

You can have both in the machine at once? Only if it was a kiosk DS

Can the card trade with itself?

eBay Price: $349.99

FINAL FANTASY V

Oh come on, they have to know this isn't real

Maybe they do. Maybe people just like to pay that much for reproduction carts

Maybe I should get in on this racket

eBay Price: $162.50

LUCIENNE'S QUEST (SEALED)

You know how there were good games on the Sega CD, yet they were also Japanese RPGs that were released in limited numbers and cost a fortune to obtain today?

Imagine if the same thing happened, but on the 3D0, and right before the console was taken off the market to make things worse. Wait, we don't have to imagine...

eBay Price: $787.00

GAME BOY POCKET SONAR

Just when you thought you'd seen everything. The Game Boy could also help you search for fish

A plastic wire with a yellow sensor bar on the end dangled out of the Game Boy cartridge. Does it actually work? Only one way to find out

From Bandai! The people who brought you Power Rangers figurines

eBay Price: $206.27

RADIO ADS FOR WISDOM TREE GAMES

Three cassettes and one reel-to-reel tape, from Catholic radio station KPDQ in Portland

The seller provided no way to hear them, not even a sample. He's mean

eBay Price: $50.00

BLACK PLAYSTATION

Remember Blue Playstations? There was a black variation, and it's even rarer

eBay Price: $549.99

SEVEN-FOOT-TALL MARIO

I've seen Mario statues similar to this one before, but never this huge

eBay Price: $560.00

DREAMCAST VGA BOX

This allowed you to use a 1990's computer monitor as your Dreamcast display instead of a TV. It also outputs in S-Video which you should find more useful

eBay Price: $80.00

COMPLETE NINJA FIVE-O

Crazy action-filled homage to 80's beat-em-up games that was ignored at release because of its bad box art. Now highly sought after

The best thing about this auction was the question section

eBay Price: $262.00

I can do better -- I have a never-opened Ninja Five-O in its original shrinkwrap. If you make me a good offer, I may sell

ATARI JAGUAR INJECTION MOLDS

The actual machines used to make shells for the Atari Jaguar. Later purchased by a dental imaging company, which means their products looked like Jaguars for a while

eBay Price: $4,500

FF7 "POTION DRINKS"

A series of Japanese beverages that came out when Square was milking the FF7 brand dry

eBay Price: $120.00

CASSETTE BOY, WATCH BOY, RADIO BOY

Was there any product Nintendo couldn't Boy?

eBay Price: $399.00

GAME BOY COLOR LIGHT

A Game Boy Color retrofitted with a GBA SP frontlight

Only version available is the Pikachu one; no exceptions

eBay Price: $96

KINGDOM HEARTS GLASS CUPS IN WOODEN BOX

A press item dating back to the release of the original game

eBay Price: $233.42

LARA CROFT SIGNATURE PERFUME

eBay Price: $89.00

Okay, really? Video game character perfume? Who would ever buy this (besides Lisa Foiles)? This is the dumbest Tomb Raider product I've ever see----

LARA CROFT SHAPED PS1 MEMORY CARD

----never mind, this is worse.

eBay Price: $14.99

F-ZERO BOARD GAME

An F-Zero. Board game.

It's not very clear how it works. Something similar to a D&D battle evidently

eBay Price: $10
Technically at that low price it doesn't fit the requirements to be on this list, but...it HAD to be on here

1990 NINTENDO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS FIRST PLACE TROPHY

A friend of winner Thor Aackerlund put this up, expecting it to become the highest-priced NES-era item ever, since all the competition carts used in the tournament (or given away) are now hugely expensive. In theory, those dots could be connected, but what actually determines value is how much of a demand there is for an item. Plenty of people would much rather have a NWC gold cart than an ugly old trophy

eBay Price: $300,000.00

"RED SEA CROSSING," ATARI 2600

If you didn't know, collecting a "complete" 2600 library is virtually impossible due to the amount of unregulated game-making that took place leading to the crash. What you're looking at is the only known copy of this game

See it in action

GameGavel.com Price: $5,101.00

ORIGINAL COMPLETE NES M8 DISPLAY

The original vintage display for the Nintendo Entertainment System, complete in its trapezoidal glory. Only used in stores in New York City that sold the initial batch of consoles. Bits and pieces of it have turned up, but until recently, the completed version of the thing was thought to be lost

Then a guy on the Nintendo Age forums discovered a complete one in the back of an old warehouse. How much is it worth? No one knows yet, because he plans to keep it

eBay Price: ?


MICROWAVED NINTENDO 3DS

A 3DS somebody put in his microwave, melted, and then tried to sell for over ten times its retail price. He didn't go cheap, either -- that used to be the XL model

How much would YOU pay?

eBay Price: $2,241.00


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