Sources: eBay, Gamesniped.com

The following video-game-related items are so rare, you probably haven't heard of any of them. They are all real, there is only a handful in the world of each, and you can NEVER HAVE THEM, because of the wallet-stopping combination of being both expensive AND totally useless. You can look, though. But you can't ever touch. Especially the Dragon Lady.

NINTENDO POWER 100TH ISSUE GAME BOY POCKET

Remember the Super Power Supplies catalog that used to occasionally come with Nintendo Power? Did you ever glance at some of that stuff and think there was no way any of it would ever be valuable?

.....Yeah, that was me

eBay Price: $1,200

90's LARA CROFT MANNEQUIN

It stops below the torso, so technically it should be called a "bust" -- but why be redundant

Note that she also has no arms. You didn't even notice that until I pointed it out, did you?

eBay Price: $50

THE COMMODORE CAMERA

Commodore made cameras? No they didn't. This is a promotional item

It's also broken, but who uses film anymore anyway

eBay Price: $27

ORIGINAL ART FROM JAPANESE PAC-MAN COMIC STRIP

Don't ask me to explain anything about this. Ask Fauna

eBay Price: $150

COMPLETE US SUPER NES GAME SET

Feast them eyes. Every single game cartridge is pictured here, even the Blockbuster DKC and StarFox Tournament Carts

eBay Price: $9999.99
Give or take a 9

SYPHON FILTER 3: ORIGINAL VERSION

Sony once had a game with a level where you learned how to fly planes into buildings to destroy them, mass-printed and ready to ship....on September 12, 2001

The revamped retail version was....the same thing, only with a different cover. Don't ask me, I don't understand it either

But it's a very rare cover, at least

eBay Price: $725.16

NINTENDO 64 WIDEBOY

Nintendo made a Super Game Boy for the N64, but never allowed consumers to buy it. The Wideboy was for developers and magazine employees to make Game Boy Color screenshots with

eBay Price: $500

GRAY MAJORA'S MASK DEMO CART

Nintendo published a demo version of Majora's Mask for stores to run in N64 kiosks. The majority of them had gold-colored cartridges, just like the retail versions. This one, however, is gray. The rare gray carts contain the demo from the E3 version of the game, and display many differences, making them even more valuable

Looks like someone ripped the label, though....to remove the "NOT FOR RESALE" notice because he thought he couldn't sell it otherwise. Silly guy

eBay Price: $375

DK! DONKEY KONG COMFORTER IS HERE!

From the words of the seller:
"
OMG!! VINTAGE NINTENDO DONKEY KONG CHARACTERS TWIN SIZE GAMER COMFORTER,  BRAND NEW NEVER USED WITHOUT TAGS ATTACHED, THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!"

Is it awesome enough for three Benjamins? You decide

eBay Price: $300

DONKEY KONG CARTOON MODEL SHEETS

If you ever want to resurrect the crappy 1983 Donkey Kong cartoon, here are the tools

eBay Price: $24.50

LIFE-SIZE LINK

A statue that measures over six feet when counting the sword

eBay Price: $1035.00
Some assembly required

NTDEC PIRATE CARTRIDGE

It's made by Nintendo -- Nintendo Electronic Co., that is, a Taiwanese outfit that was eventually sued to death for use of the Nintendo name

Of course, that wasn't the only reason -- their purpose for being was cartridge piracy, and they even tried selling them in the US, where they gained a higher chance of being caught (and were)

Has a green "QUALITY GUARANTY" stripe on the back

eBay Price: 600 Euros

PAC-MAN HALLOWEEN COSTUME

Whoever had this was the scariest-looking kid on the block

eBay Price: $125

N64 LODGENET VERSION DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM

The prototype for those evil pay-to-play attachments

I would buy it just to burn it

eBay Price: $1,150

BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO POKEMON SNAP STATION

If you feel the need to print out the photos from your Pokemon Snap cartridge, you're going to have to pay a hefty price these days

eBay Price: $400

SUPER MARIO BROS. SUPER TOWEL

eBay Price: $1000.00

For that much cash, this thing had better give me the ability to fly if I wear it as a cape

"THE ART OF TOMB RAIDER" HEAVY HARDCOVER

A limited print run signed by Toby Gard

I remember when this came out, and it was too much money then too

eBay Price: $870

NINTENDO 64 FIBEROPTIC SIGN

If I had this, I would put it up EVERY Christmas

eBay Price: $272.00

AN ABSOLUTE, COMPLETE AND TOTAL VIRTUAL BOY COLLECTION

Every US game, every Japanese game, all the accessories and every model. Even the store demo carts

According to seller: "It's gotta go or the wife does." That better be some wife

eBay Price: 4,999 GBP

THE VIRTUAL BOY STORE KIOSK

Actually, this is the one thing he didn't have. Complete your collection!

I think the VB would be much easier to play with this attachment

eBay Price: $150

OKAMIDEN PROMOTIONAL STUFFED AMATERASU

300 of these were made for PAX Expo and they all sold out

eBay Price: $152.50
And worth every penny!

A BOTCHED EDITION OF "FINAL FANTASY CHRONICLES" FOR PS1 WHERE FOR SOME REASON THE BLACK COATING WASN'T PUT ON THE INFORMATION SIDE OF THE DISCS

Guess how much THAT costs?

eBay Price: $2000

SHANTAE

I think you need an actual genie to get this game now

eBay Price: $227.50

THE NINTENDO POWER "GET WITH IT KIT"

Need help getting with it? All you need is this kit

A yearlong Nintendo Power subscription, a "high-tech" plastic binder, a complete game list and some wildly loud flourescent markers are included inside

I used to be with it. Then they changed what "it" was

eBay Price: $69.99

DR. MARIO BOARD GAME

Did you know this existed? Neither did I

eBay Price: $107.50

WISDOM TREE "BIBLE ADVENTURES" STORE DISPLAY

It really figures that this is the most epic-looking cardboard display for any game I've ever seen

eBay Price: $27

SHODDIEST MARIO PLUSHIE OF ALL TIME

I don't want to know the ugly story behind his face disfigurement there

eBay Price: $7.17

GAME BOY WITH A PURPLE COW ON IT

One of the rarest Game Boy variants ever made

A small amount were given away in a sweepstakes by the MILKA Chocolate Corporation of Germany. That's their logo painted on the case

Sheesh, if you want a cow on your Brick Game Boy so badly, just draw one there

eBay Price: $200

ATARI JAGUAR CAT BOX

The Jaguar was so awesomely 64-bit high-tech, it only had an RF port. If you wanted it connected to your TV with a clearer picture than the 2600, you had to buy a separate peripheral

And yes, they called it the "Cat Box." Perfect metaphor, right?

The only way this could have a worse name is if they added an extra letter and called it the "Scat Box" -- which is what ATARI'S OFFICIAL VERSION was called

eBay Price: $250

WEIRDEST AUCTION EVER

Seller's Description: "Oh my gosh the Evil Dragon Lady, and her companinjas has kidnapped the Mario Brothers Shampoo and Bubble Bath. They are empty and the caps can still work but is very hard to open so I avoid opening. However they are able to screw off, and has some of that pink smell inside of them. Dragon
Lady, says they are doing fine, but if a buyer does not pay RegalSin a ransom of 1,000 bigguns,
they might not see the light of day until your a too old, curry, curry, curry......................"

The Dragon Lady's eyes are censored for no explained reason

eBay Price: $1234.56

"ATARI BRINGS ET HOME" GAME CLERK BUTTON PIN

.......

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eBay Price: $0.99

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