The following video-game-related items are so rare, you probably haven't heard of any of them. They are all real, there is only a handful in the world of each, and you can NEVER HAVE THEM, because of the wallet-stopping combination of being both expensive AND totally useless. You can look, though. But you can't ever touch. Or play, or eat, or whatever applies in each case.

REFRIGERATOR STUFFED WITH HUNDREDS OF "JURASSIC PARK" SNES CARTRIDGES

Refrigerator not included. He was just thinking of the most creative way to call attention to the sale

It worked; he got on Kotaku

eBay Price: $1,500.00

NINTENDO PROMOTIONAL MEDIA KIT

This is interesting to look at, not only for the giant beta screenshots of Link's Awakening, but for the expose to how the press got their information twenty years ago. I rewrite press releases as part of my job now, and it involves opening an E-mail. I guess it used to mean getting these hulking things in the mailbox

This kit also includes a screenshot of Mario & Wario, a game which ultimately stayed in Japan

eBay Price: $499.99

"FAMICOM WARS" PROMO VHS

Given how balls-to-the-wall insane most of Nintendo of America's VHS giveaways were, and how MORE insane Japan tends to get, I can't imagine what could possibly be on this tape

Someone get it and upload it!

eBay Price: $62.98

OFFICIAL SPLATOON SQUID HAT

There are much better hats to be had for the price they're asking

But none in the shape of a squid with googly eyes, true

eBay Price: $49.95

NINTENDO DS / DSi COMBO KIOSK

This one was only used for a short time and is nearly spotless. It comes with both units and its special video-on-a-loop cards too

eBay Price: $500.00

MEGA MAN E-TANK COFFEE MUG

Perfect metaphor, for those who'll get it

eBay Price: $79.00

SHRINKWRAPPED "DONKEY KONG CARD GAME"

Betcha didn't know Donkey Kong was ported to card-based systems. I bet this is one of the ones without the pie factory

See the illustration bigger here
Mario: "Hey-a Donkey Kong, ya wanna play some cards?"
Pauline: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ARE YOU CRAZY?"

eBay Price: $74.99

RATTY OLD SUPER MARIO BROS. GAMING CHAIR

This looks like it's been in that basement for decades

What's with Mario, is he high? You gotta watch what mushrooms you eat

eBay Price: $74.99

POSTER FOR MIKE TYSON'S PUNCH-OUT!! PROMOTIONAL EVENT

I had no idea this ever happened. You probably didn't either

eBay Price: $125.00

SUPER NINTENDO EXERCISE BIKE PERIPHERAL

And you thought the wackiest game peripherals came from the 2000's, didn't you?

The bike worked with two games, both on one cartridge: "Speed Racer" and "Mountain Bike Rally"

Local pick-up only, so if you buy it, you better live in Austin, Texas

eBay Price: $2,490.00

SUPER NINTENDO BRANDED PENS

Employees of Nintendo's merchandising department were given special pens to jot notes down. These are but one example from many different kinds (Game Boy, Super Mario, "Play It Loud"....)

eBay Price: $99.99

DEBUG MODEL PS3

Past debug systems we've seen for other systems have been different colors, or marked in some other way besides a plain "TEST" on the side. Sony gets a D for effort

eBay Price: $350.99

DEBUG MODEL SNES

Whoa! THIS one's sure different

"Emulator SE" never caught on as well as "Test Unit" or "Debug Unit." This particular model was owned by Micro Prose Software, possibly to make Civilization for the SNES

It's rare to see this machine on eBay because normally it is flagged down due to the word "emulator"

eBay Price: $9,500.00

ANOTHER PROTOTYPE SEGA KIOSK

This one looks to be even earlier than the others because it has no logo on it. That or it fell off

eBay Price: $250

THE WORLD'S ONLY ORANGE XBOX

A prototype for a proposed Halo special edition (though if that's the case, shouldn't it be orange and blue?)

You know what I haven't had in a while? Citrus orange soda. I want some citrus orange soda now

eBay Price: $25000.00

SUPER NINTENDO WITH MARIO ALL-STARS

What a great deal.....wait, wait, WAIT a minute! It's not worth that much! You tricked me! You tricked me with boobs!

eBay Price: $78.99

NINTENDO M82 DISPLAY UNIT

A couple years back we saw the M8 display unit, which Nintendo used in stores to demo 12 games at once

The M8 was the first model and all its games were wired in. The M82 is the improved version that will take any game cartridge

And this particular one has been improved further....it's been modded to have no time limit and support an RGB connection. Though this probably brings down its value, it's a unit you can actually use

eBay Price: $3,300.00

SOMEONE'S ENTIRE COLLECTION

It's not uncommon to find someone's entire collection of video games sold in bulk on eBay, but this guy? This has to be the poster child for the Anal Collector With A Nasally Voice And A Clip-On Tie. See all these consoles and games? They're unopened. He never opened a single one. Instead he had the VGA laminate them and stuck them up as museum pieces. HE NEVER PLAYED WITH A SINGLE ONE OF THESE

eBay Price: $1,250.00

MOST YELLOW PS2 EVER

In 2002 Sony manufactured Playstation 2s in a variety of colors and gave them out through a contest. There were also red, blue and white models

eBay Price: $750.00

GAMECUBE COMPONENT CABLES

If you want your Gamecube games to look somewhat decent on an HDTV, your only option are these now-rare and expensive cables. And your Gamecube has to have been released within the first half of the console's life cycle, or the plug for these cables won't be there

eBay Price: $350.00

HELLO KITTY SEGA DREAMCAST

It's green!

eBay Price: $379.99

46-INCH COMPUSA MARIO STATUE

I can't possibly describe this as well as the seller did.

"Hello Internet. So you think you've got the biggest, baddest, awesome..est...Nintendo collection ever? WRONG.  

"Please, allow me to introduce you to this big beautiful magnificent bastard: a 46 inch tall statue of the very icon of Nintendo itself, from the 1990s, the era of the Nintendo 64. That's right, not only is he a visual representation of your favorite retro video game company, he's authentically the same age as the romanticized, memorable, nostalgic childhood wet dream that made you the nerd you are today. Oh whats that? You want to own this extremely rare collectible that seldom gets publicity every few years? Please...dare you think that you have the cajones, much less the wallet to own the very living face of Nintendo, no, VIDEO GAMES itself, to guard your front door, to watch you sleep with your girlfriend in the dead of night, to go to a chili eating contest as your wingman, to ride shotgun in your monster truck as you make the ladies swoon, or to adorn your now unbeatable retro video game collection arcade, there is no substitute, no equal, no other. This is THE ARTIFACT that will bring full glory to your life. This is what you've been waiting for.

"An official licensed Nintendo item. Nintendo itself created these and deemed them worthy of watching over their Nintendo 64 in full store display, He watched over you as a kid as you shamelessly stood there and played Mario 64 until your neck gave out from staring up at the screen, and then some. This is the guy that looked back at you while your mom had to drag you away from the store.
Now its your turn to put him back where he belongs, above your N64 and other video game collections, so you can both be reunited again, Forever.

Because if you don't get him now, you will never see him again due to a testament of your faith."

eBay Price: $2000.00

18-INCH "LIFE-SIZE" BOB-OMB STATUE

Not from CompUSA, not promoted with a long-winded hand-crafted piece of prose...but it IS much much cheaper

eBay Price: $350.00

SEALED COPY OF DUCKTALES 2

Yes, there was a sequel to DuckTales released within the life of the NES. You missed it because the game didn't come out until 1993

Games from the end of a console's lifespan tend to become valuable, sealed copies even more so, and unplayed sequels to beloved titles very much so

eBay Price: $1,500.00

"INDIANA JONES GREATEST ADVENTURES" FOR GENESIS

This game was a SNES exclusive. Apparently publisher JVC developed a Genesis version, but it never left the prototype stage. This version of the game has never been dumped in ROM form online, so this is all anyone's seen of it so far

It was completed and reviewed by Gamepro (who gave it a 3.5 out of 5) but like many other Genesis titles that would have come out in 1995, it got shelved

I remember this being a very Mode 7 heavy game. Wonder how they dealt with that

eBay Price: 770.00

MEGA MAN II SOUNDTRACK ON VINYL

One thing, Capcom never released anything like this. It's a fan print

Which leads to the second thing: the price the seller set is way overinflated. Unless everyone wants a vinyl of Mega Man II and this is the only one that can ever be made

eBay Price: $7000.00

LIMITED EDITION EUROPEAN BAYONETTA 2

Wow, that looks nice. Way better than ours

Flip it over and see the ridiculous amount of languages publishers have to accommodate over there. "The Witch Is Back" is printed eight different times

eBay Price: 79.25

THE MOST EXPENSIVE PEPPY HARE PLUSH YOU'LL EVER SEE

If they're charging this much for Peppy, how much must Fox be?

eBay Price: $4499.95

SEALED "ZERO THE KAMIKAZE SQUIRREL"

Man, he looks ticked. But I guess I'd be mad too if an evil French clown was printing counterfeit money and cut down my forest to get the paper for it

eBay Price: $1,799.99

A 39-PIECE POKEMON BATTLE PLAY MAT WITH MARBLE BALL HOLDER AND SHOOTER

eBay Price: $99,999.99

...................................ok

THE MOST EXCITING HOME VIDEO GAME

Dating from the 1970's, The Conic TVG-101 contains color illustrations boasting that it simulates Tennis, Hockey, Squash and Handball....all of which will be variations on Pong

eBay Price: $74.99


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