Sources: eBay, Gamesniped.com, Craigslist, Nintendo Age forums

The following video-game-related items are so rare, you probably haven't heard of any of them. They are all real, there is only a handful in the world of each, and you can NEVER HAVE THEM, because of the wallet-stopping combination of being both expensive AND totally useless. You can look, though. But you can't ever touch. Because....I got nothin' this time.

ENTIRE GAME STORE CHAIN

A Florida man has offered all three of his "R.U. GAME?" stores up for sale in one package, as well as three cars, three homes and three kayaks (what's with this guy and threes?)

He just wants to retire early and drive around the country with his wife in an RV. Sounds like the plot of Lost in America; someone should show him the movie and he might change his mind

eBay Price: $3,500,000.00

ANOTHER ENTIRE GAME STORE CHAIN

Guess what? This guy's stores are two hours away from the first guy's. No relation between them

Neither of these two have sold their businesses yet. Natch. Call me wary but when you see two people simultaneously try to dump their Florida game franchises, opening another one doesn't seem like a sound plan

eBay Price: $2,600,000.00

NINTENDO PLAYCHOICE 10

During the NES years Nintendo stayed in the arcade market by rehashing some of their console games as 10-in-1 arcade units. Many of them were slightly different "Vs." versions designed to be more competitive

"Vs. Super Mario Bros" was a slightly rearranged version of the original that also included levels from the Japanese SMB2. It also got its own unique cabinet

eBay Price: $895.00

NINTENDO "SUPER SYSTEM"

They would later do the same thing with the SNES....sort of. The Super System was simply three Super NES games on a time limit you had to refresh with quarters

I did not have an SNES but my local pizza parlor had this. I may not have been blessed with much, but I learned to get through Super Mario World...five minutes at a time

eBay Price: $499

NINTENDO ARCADE OF THE BOOTLEG VARIETY

Created back in 1988 out of a hollowed-out "Clowns" machine; has an NES inside and two Advantage controllers for joysticks

Was featured in a 1990 issue of GamePro

eBay Price: $1,299.00

HANG TOUGH

You're going to need to if you plan to bite on the price for this prototype box, for a NKOTB Nintendo game that was never made

According to the seller, it's banged-up because it was former property of the EGM offices, who "used it as a hockey puck."

eBay Price: $249,999.99

29 SEALED NINTENDO 64S

Yes, he has twenty-freakin'-nine of the things

All the models are here: Original, Fire, Grape, Jungle Green, Pikachu-Shaped -- even the rare Gold-colored system. Plus many sealed games and every make of controller unopened as well

Rumor has it this warchest was created by a teenager who maxed out his first credit card in a week, and that the whole thing was sold off by his angry dad. Awesome if true

eBay Price: $59,000.00

VIRUS

This was the temp name for what would become Dr. Mario

The man owned three different Dr. Mario prototypes -- one from 1989, a further-along one from 1990 and one with the proper title that was used to make Nintendo Power screenshots

eBay Price: $120,000

More pix: 1 2 3

COMPLETE LOT OF PLAYSTATION 1 GAMES (1,663 in all)

Not just every game, every variant of every game. That means an extra copy if the packaging was slightly different

Plus Japan-exclusive titles and a series of games called "Lightspan" sold to schools only

And two copies of Pajama Sam, one autographed

eBay Price: $8,200.00

EVER 17

Now that the Zero Escape series has achieved cult status in America (if you haven't at least played 999, get on it now), a new breed of fans is hungry for the creator's only other translated title, the PC game "Ever 17"

This has been out of print since 2006, and usually the auction price is even more expensive than what's listed here. You're only paying the collector if you purchase one, so....go ahead and download it from somewhere; no one will suffer

eBay Price: $152.48

ZXE-D: LEGEND OF PLASMATLITE

This Japan exclusive came out in 1996 and included a bunch of robot parts in the box. First you assembled the robot, then you plugged it into the PS1 and turned on the game. The game sensed how you designed the robot and rendered it onscreen

That's right....the original Playstation beat Skylanders to this sort of thing by 14 years, and you still can't design your own Skylander

eBay Price: $140.00

PLAYSTATION LAUNCH TEAM BUNDLE

The special bundle members of the launch team were given. Includes a rare PS1 with a special sticker and many T-shirts

The Polygon Man shirt was kind of a snafu since SCEA did not have the license to put him on anything

eBay Price: $1000

LOT OF OVER 100 PS1 GAMES RELEASED IN EUROPE BUT UNRELEASED IN THE US

We didn't get THIS many??

eBay Price: $659.00

SOUNDTRACK LP FOR SUPER MARIO BROS. ANIME MOVIE

A 45 is the only way to hear it

eBay Price: $101.00

PIKACHU-THEMED CHAMPAGNE GLASSES

A little outside the demographic, don't you think?

Notice the logo is for "The First Movie." Maybe these were for investors to buy and clink together while they counted their money and laughed in a French sort of way

eBay Price: $49.99

STUFFED FALCO LOMBARDI

This one's extra-hard to get. Stuffed versions of this StarFox character were only sold inside Japanese crane games

eBay Price: $1000

GROOVY ATARI SPINNING RETAIL DISPLAY CASE

Rotates 360 degrees. Too bad it doesn't come with his living room; it doesn't look that bad either

GameGavel Price: $750.00

COMPLETE "AIR RAID" FOR ATARI 2600

What you're looking at is the most expensive 2600 cart in the entire world. If I said that before about another cart, it's actually this one

Given to an assistant manager as a sample by an Atari salesman representing obscure companies, the man kept it mint in storage for 30 years while having no clue to its true value

This is the only known complete set (cart, box, instruction manual) in the universe

GameGavel Price: $33,433.30

COMPLETE SET OF NINTENDO POWER TRADING CARDS

Remember these? They used to stick six of them in the back of the magazine during the early 90's

Ever wondered how many there were approximately? 171

This is the first time I've seen them all together

eBay Price: $950.00

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FIX-IT FELIX JR.

One of twelve Fix-It Felix uprights created by Disney to promote Wreck-It Ralph

Posted about two months after the release of the movie. How'd he get this?

eBay Price: $20,000.00

COMPLETE US SNES COLLECTION

I mean so complete that every box and nearly every instruction manual is included, 721 in all

Originally owned by the creator of the BSNES emulator. He uploaded all the ROMs himself to make sure they would work

eBay Price: $25,000

HOWARD PHILLIPS' PERSONAL NINTENDO SWAG

The proof of the first Howard and Nester comic, Howard's official Charter Member certificate, 50 issues of NP and most Fun Club Newsletters mint with no address labels, AND the ceramic Tetrisized models of H and N

Howard, NO! Why would you give these away??

eBay Price: $1,939.12

RARE PIRATED SACHEN "PRINCESS MAKER" FOR FAMICOM

Sailor Moon does not appear anywhere in this game

eBay Price: $100

INTELLIVISION VOICE SYNTHESIS BROCHURE PRODUCED FOR 1982 CES

Say it with me now: BEEEEEEE SEVEN-TEEEEEN BAWWWWW MERRRRRR

eBay Price: $230.09

ORIGINAL XBOX LAUNCH PACKAGE

This is also from Howard Phillips, who worked for Microsoft from 1997 to 2006. Only sixty of these Launch Packages were given out to employees high up the ladder

Contains: the very first submitted game disc ("NHL Hitz" by Midway), the original Launch Team model of the console, a replica model of the prototype when it was supposed to be literally X-shaped...

Plus a baseball cap and plenty of extra doodads

eBay Price: $5,000

TERRIBLE SUPER METROID POSTER

A non-official illustration created by a small video game franchise called "Game Players" (wonder if they're for sale on eBay too)

In fairness, Nintendo had just put out a Super Metroid comic where she had purple hair, so that portion didn't come out of nowhere

eBay Price: $14.99

ZELDA CART THAT PLAYS RAD RACER INSTEAD

Was it really an error, or did someone just take a screwdriver and mix-and-match?

The real reason the bids on this auction reached past $100 was because this is a rare cartridge shell that's held together by 5 screws instead of 3

So if this guy was pulling a scam, the joke was on him

eBay Price: $119.50

FOUR LINKED MARIO KART ARCADE MACHINES

Homina homina homina

If I was a rich douchebag, I would have this right in my spacious living room

eBay Price: $15,850

MANGIA'

One of the rarer 2600 titles

It's about a boy whose mother keeps feeding him pasta and your goal is to keep him from literally exploding by slipping food discreetly to your dog. But if your mother catches you doing it she'll throw three times as much pasta your way, making you explode faster

YouTube it if you don't believe me

eBay Price: $1,000.00

MISPRINTED MARIO BROS. WII

The boxart for New Super Mario Bros. Wii had the "Wii" logo foil-stamped onto the cover sheet. For some reason the machine missed this one

eBay Price: $85.11

ENTIRE SCHOOL (used)

A school in Pennsylvania once put itself up for online auction; the price offered was equal to the shortfall in the cost of running it for one year

This auction was shortly removed. Turns out public schools can't eBay themselves; who knew?

eBay Price: $600,000.00


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