If you've ever searched for Saturday Supercade online before, you might be asking: "Why is every single review I've ever read for this show about the same episode?" It's because only one person in the entire US of A thought to tape this program, and ever since then it's been tossed around the tape-trading scene. So unless you have access to a different episode, this is the one we're using.
We've shown many examples in the first 'toon of how unoriginal the Supercade was, but the second will prove that they were indiscriminate in what they chose to steal. Check this out: as DK Jr's inspiration, they chose to copy one of the most reviled and infamous cartoon characters of all time.
No kidding, people. The same voice, the same shrill attitude. Like some demented mad scientists, they combined body parts in a most unholy way and created Scrappy Kong! Only instead of "PUPPY POWER," Donkey Kong Jr. yells "MONKEY MUSCLE!" And you wonder why the Super Mario Super Show got a DVD set first.
As in the game, Donkey Kong Jr. is separated from his papa--but that's where the similarities end. He comes back to Donkey Kong's Supercade-exclusive circus to visit his dad at his new job, but finds DK already escaped. Now he spends his time travelling around searching for Papa with the help of Bones, his motorbike-owning circus assistant and friend. Title card time!
Whoa! This episode oughta ROCK!
Today, Donkey Kong Junior and Bones are at a carnival, waiting to babysit a little girl. They're doing this not because they know her, or out of goodwill, but because they need the babysitting money to continue on their journey after Donkey Kong. I knew gas was cheaper in 1983, but I didn't know it could be covered with one babysitting job.
The girl's name is Patty, and Bones assures her ma she's in good hands.
Patty whines about how she'd love a prize from one of the carnival games, so Bones tries his luck. He really, really sucks--on his first try, the ball hits a support post and ricochets into his mouth. By contrast, DK Jr's Puppy Po---er, Monkey Muscle has so much "umph," he throws a pitch that not only knocks over the bottles, but hits the dumbbell in the "Hit the Meter Thing With the Hammer" contraption, and lands in the milk bottle of a third game. Three wins at once! The monk is guaranteed the biggest prize in the carnival, and it's obvious what prize he's gonna wind up with.
I say it's obvious because while this was going on, two sharply-dressed crooks snuck into the ticket stand and stole the carnival's receipts. Why they didn't lock the doors is a mystery. A policeman heads their way, and before he can see the crime, the two shifty guys race under a tent and hide.
"We gotta find a place to stash this loot so we can come back for it later!" they remark. They decide to stuff the "$" bag in a giant teddy bear, which of course Donkey Kong Jr. just won.
DK Junior gives the bear to Patty, and the crooks look on in horror. How are they supposed to get the money back now? How can they swipe a teddy bear from a cute little girl? How can....
Er....well, never mind.
"JUNIOR! BONES! THOSE MEAN MENZ STOLE MY TEDDY BEAR!!" Patty cries out. There's no time to waste! Junior swipes the ice cream cart (wait, do two wrongs make a right?) and cries out "MONKEEEEY MUSCLE!!" before speeding off with Bones, in hot pursuit of the bear-nappers. You're familiar with the frequency in which Scrappy Doo shouted "Puppy Power," right? DK Junior shouts his version even more frequently. Before he does just about anything strenuous, like maybe eating a piece of french bread that has a hard crust, he yells out "MONKEEEEY MUSCLE!!" He just can't resist. There must be a deleted scene where Junior was in the restroom screaming "MONKEEEEY MUSCLE!!" over and over.
At this point, the crooks could have just taken the money out of the bear and left it. But they didn't. They dashed to the Roller Coaster and boarded the car, cackling "They'll never catch us NOW!" I suppose not, unless they waited around for the crooks to get OFF the roller coaster.
DK Jr's too impatient for that, though; he's gotta get onto the track with the ice cream cart and use it in an unauthorized manner, swooshing through the loop-de-loops after the bad guys. To slow them down, Junior removes the ice cream and throws it in their faces.
Maybe it really would have worked if Bones hadn't gotten himself separated from the cart by accident. Junior had to go waste time catching him, and it was enough for the crooks to wipe the strawberry flavoring off their faces and escape. A running theme in this cartoon was that Bones just couldn't do anything right; he was a real anchor in Junior's goals. But "I could never leave my best buddy behind!" says DK Jr.
Oh no--the crooks capture Patty! This is all YOUR fault, Bones. And it pretty much proves these are true villains who have no shame. I found it hard to loathe someone who would actually dress in a monster costume and chase after hippies as a villanous plot, but these guys? This is the second time they've assaulted a little girl. They're the real thing--they're scum! I hope Junior whups their behinds.
"IF YA EVER WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN....MEET US AT THE HAUNTED HOUSE! AND BRING THE BEAR!" they shout loudly (fortunately for them, no one else was around).
Now Bones is wondering just why they want this stupid bear so badly, and he gets his answer when he uses his forensic science skills to reach into the stuffing.
"That's MONEY! An' I bet it's STOLEN money!" asserts Junior. He gets his confirmation right away. Two policemen, who were irresponsibly absent for the entire cartoon up to this point, suddenly approach the two and accuse THEM of being the robbers. Brilliant detective work! Junior and Bones split as fast as they can!
The magic show booth is empty--maybe they can pull a fast one on the fuzz. The cops now approach a really hairy short man announcing the Amazing Karmack. It's not that unusual a sight for a carnival, so the police are fooled...momentarily. But then they decide to go inside and question Karmack....
"Um, uh, uh um, that's me, Karmack! Watch my latest trick! Nothing up my sleeve!" He says this right before he performs a trick that obviously involves stuffing something up your sleeve. Bones just fails at life. And at the end of that string of handkerchiefs are his boxer shorts.
It's sad how he needs a monkey to protect him. Just as the police are about to nab Bones, Junior approaches with two boxes. They shove the cops inside, lock the doors (actually, they don't lock the doors, but we have to assume the men are now trapped) and race to the Haunted House.
One commercial break later, Bones and Junior have formed a plan that's halfway decent: Junior is small enough to fit inside the bear, so they plan to get the jump on the crooks with a surprise monkey-in-bear thrashing.
Bones practically wets his pants inside the Haunted House--he's so pathetic. Junior reassures him that the figures are only wax, but then two start following them. It's obvious who's inside--well, not to Bones. But it is to Junior, who yells "THROW ME AT 'EM! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!"
"At last! We got the
"Wrong, pal! What you got is....MONKEEEEY MUSCLE!!"
"Wow, I can't believe it worked!" says Bones. But his mere presence messes everything up. He leans on one of the wax figures, pushing it down, which knocks down the next one, and on and on in a domino effect until they all land on top of the crooks and Junior.
The crooks take the opportunity
to trap Junior in a net. Drat!
You won't believe what happens next....some kind of twisted Obi-Wan moment, and I'm not kidding.
"Bones! You gotta stop 'em!
Only you can!"
"Do everything I taught you! Use Monkey Muscle on 'em!"
Is he kidding? This is madness! A non-monkey can't use Monkey Muscle; you have to be a level-5 primate to harness that power! Bones tries anyway, and looks perfectly ridiculous.
"UHH, DA DAH DAAAAA,
MONKEE-E-EY MUSSELL!! OOOGH!! AAAAAKK!!"
With swift poetic justice, Bones socks it to the crooks and defeats them!
Okay, that didn't happen. The strict CBS censors wouldn't allow any punches to be thrown back then. BUT, they were so scared by Bones' show of strength, they split right away, leaving Patty and the money!
......Okay, that didn't happen either. They just yawned and walked on. Junior had to resolve this mess himself. Why does he keep this guy around?
The criminals try to slow Junior down by tipping a wagon full of watermelons, but Junior dodges them easily.
Not only that, he hoists up the Restrooms sign and uses it as a baseball bat, socking two melons right into the villains' faces. They skid and slide right into the dunk tank, and just in time for the police to appear again and catch the real culprits red-handed. Junior did this in thirty seconds, Bones....what did YOU do today?
As a reward, the carnival manager gives Patty a replacement bear. No cash for our heroes--they'll have to settle for the babysitting money. And they might not even get THAT...Patty's mother returns and she immediately tells her about how she was kidnapped and tied up.
"My, you have a wonderful imagination!" She didn't believe any of it. Patty is oddly happy about this.
In fact, she wants to be babysat by Bones again TOMORROW, so she can ride "THE HUMONGOUS!" She points to another rollercoaster fifteen stories higher than the one we saw before, and Bones almost faints.
"We'd love to," says Junior with a wink, "but first we gotta find my papa!" The wink seems to indicate that Junior knows the series will end before he ever finds his papa, and he's slyly getting Bones out of this gig.
"You said it, little buddy! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
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