|"ROCK BOTTOM WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING CORRECTIONS."|
|The Simpsons episode #2F06, "Homer the Bad Man"
In this classic episode, Homer is the latest person in America to get eaten alive by the news media for a thing he may or nay not have actually done. He's eventually proven innocent, and the TV show
"Rock Bottom" has to apologize...not for their accusations against him, but for every accusation they'd made in the last 5 years. At this time a list of corrections zooms through the screen scrolling at one-tenth of a second. Too fast to catch with the naked eye, here is what the list actually said:
| - "Peoples' Choice Awards" is America's greatest honor.
- Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
- The UFO was a paper plate.
- The nerds on the Internet are not geeks.
- The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
- The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
- Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
- If you are reading this, you have no life.
- Roy Rogers was not buried in his horse.
- The other UFO was an upside down salad spinner.
- Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
- Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
- Our viewers are not pathetic sexless food tubes.
- Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
- The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang.
- Salt water does not chase the thirsties away.
- Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty
Morphin Power Ranger.
- Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
- Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys.
- Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
- Everything is 10% fruit juice.
- The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
- Janet Reno is evil.
- V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
- Ted Koppel is a robot.
- Women aren't from Venus and men aren't from Mars.
- Fleiss does floss.
- Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
- Bart is bad to the bone.
- Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him.
- The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing competitions.
- The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
- Everyone on TV is better than you.
- The people who are writing this have no life.
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